


happy bday ***

by Anonymous



Category: hyyh halateez
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-23
Updated: 2020-08-23
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:08:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26066995
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: this is my friends birthday present look away
Collections: Anonymous





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jj_k: jungkook  
> seokjingay: jin  
> crabjoon: namjoon  
> hobi: hoseok  
> suga: yoongi  
> vantae: taehyung  
> park_jmn: jimin  
> choi_soobin: soobin (from txt)

[jj_k has sent *OVERWATCH_POTG_PNG*]

seokjingay: are ya winning son

jj_k: no

seokjingay: good

hobi: owo kookie this is so good!!

seokjingay: do you even understand whats happening in this clip

hobi: does it matter? uwu

suga: he doesnt

hobi: hey :(

jj_k: thanks for the support anyways hyung

jj_k: unlike

jj_k: SOME unnamed people

seokjingay: no name me bitch

seokjingay: i want the royalty fees

crabjoon: wait you were serious about patenting your name??

seokjingay: hiii namjoon ;-)

seokjingay: also yes

seokjingay: @choi_soobin you. have you brought the paperwork yet

choi_soobin: Hello Seokjin hyung!!! I am on my way!!!

seokjingay: haha nice

seokjingay: now get going

choi_soobin: Okay thank you hyung!!!!!

seokjingay: i love having fanboys

suga: @choi_soobin run away. hes using you

seokjingay: why do you try to take everything good from me

suga: this is literal slave labor

seokjingay: of course the communist would say that

hobi: i wish i had someone who loved me as much as soobinie loves hyung

park_jmn: yoongi is right there

hobi: yoongi doesnt count

suga: WOW

crabjoon: i dont want to be a part of this conversation

suga: its because im short isnt it. isnt it fucker.

jj_k: bye

suga: face me like a man

hobi: it doesnt count because we’re literally dating hyung wtf

suga: oh yeah lol

park_jmn: well yoongi aside, isnt soobin’s friend following you around everywhere?

park_jmn: taehyun???

hobi: yeah he's a really nice kid!! he’s just not so open with his affection ^^;

crabjoon: i think he has a hitlist

seokjingay: he’s like five foot eight whats he gonna do

crabjoon: he told me that because i'm tall my center of gravity isn't good so he could tie my shoelaces together and end my life.

seokjingay: LMAAAO

seokjingay: i wanna see that happen

park_jmn: speaking of people with ‘taehyun’ in their name

park_jmn: where’s taehyung?????

hobi: i havent seen him since yesterday @.@

hobi: @jj_k have you seen taehyung

jj_k: why would i know

suga: you

suga: are literally roommates

jj_k: oh yeah

jj_k: nope i haven’t seen him since yesterday either

seokjingay: oh my god they were roommates

jj_k: boo not funny didn’t laugh

crabjoon: he’ll turn up eventually! he always does. 

crabjoon: also we have philosophy class about dogs today. he’s bound to show up.

hobi: philosophy...

suga: does it feel good to be a nerd.

crabjoon: yes, thank you.

suga: you dont make this fun

suga: alright im out

park_jmn: bye!!!!!!

seokjingay: see ya

crabjoon: later.

jj_k: goodbye hyung

hobi: byeeee yoongi! :3

suga: bye hobi~

seokjingay: WHY DID HE ONLY TELL U GOODBYE

seokjingay: THIS IS FAVORITISM

crabjoon: you’ll get over it.

* * *

jj_k: hyung

hobi: yeah

seokjingay: whats up

jj_k: i meant small hyung

park_jmn: yeah?

park_jmn: WAIT

suga: lmao

park_jmn: FUCK

jj_k: gottem

park_jmn: FUCK YOU JEON JUNGKOOK

jj_k: no serious question

jj_k: taehyung didn’t come last night either

jj_k: is he at your place

park_jmn: omg no???

hobi: oh no.....

park_jmn: he usually tells me before he comes over but he didnt :((

park_jmn: @crabjoon did he ever show up for philosophy class???

crabjoon: he didn’t. i actually meant to tell you guys yesterday but i passed out as soon as i got back to my dorm. i’m sorry.

seokjingay: okay

seokjingay: @vantae this isnt funny anymore you little

seokjingay: bihtc

suga: he probably fell asleep on the train again and found himself in like

suga: texas or something

park_jmn: this isn’t funny min yoongi!!!

park_jmn: where the FUCK is my best friend!!!!

suga: whoa ok chill i didnt mean to be insensitive

jj_k: i’m getting worried

hobi: me too im starting to freak out rn

hobi: hyung pls hold my hand :((

suga: i thought you would never ask~

park_jmn: GO BE GROSS SOMEWHERE ELSE WE HAVE TO FIND TAEHYUNG!!!!

seokjingay: we need a task force

seokjingay: @choi_soobin oi minion

choi_soobin: Hello hyung!!!!!

seokjingay: cut the crap

choi_soobin: Damn okay

seokjingay: get you and your boys on the job. 24/7, look for the fella with a smile like this

seokjingay: ^ㅁ^

choi_soobin: Okay on it!!

crabjoon: enlisting the help of five minors doesn’t feel right...

suga: slave labor

seokjingay: will you sHUT UP about slave labor

seokjingay: their official name is Kim Seokjin Fanclub Associates thank you very much

park_jmn: i don’t care who helps i just want him back!!!

jj_k: wait hold on hyung

hobi: which one

jj_k: namjoon

jj_k: didn’t you install a tracker app in taehyung’s phone?

park_jmn: you WHAT

seokjingay: bro what

crabjoon: i did! in case he ever got lost!

crabjoon: thank you for reminding me let me reinstall the app

seokjingay: why do you have ....a tracker app hello

park_jmn: we can discuss the morality later WE HAVE TO FIND HIM FIRST.

suga: jimin i need you to calm down

park_jmn: I CAN’T!!!!

park_jmn: WE ARE TWO PARTS OF ONE WHOLE ASS!!!!

park_jmn: HE IS MY LEFT BUTTCHEEK :(( AND YOU KNOW HOW IMPORTANT MY BUTT IS TO ME

hobi: of course we do! but we all need to calm down ;w;

park_jmn: I CAN’T CALM DOWN WHEN IM MISSING MY BUTTCHEEK HOBI HYUNG!!

park_jmn: WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITHOUT HIM?

suga: dont worry, namjoon is installing the tracker app

crabjoon: i’ve got it!

[crabjoon has sent *screenshot_png*]

park_jmn: the tracker app is called ‘find my pet’????????

crabjoon: look,

suga: we can worry about semantics later. have you found it yet?

crabjoon: i uh

crabjoon: forgot his phone number.

jj_k: don’t worry hyung, i have it memorized

jj_k: it’s (500)-***-****

crabjoon: thanks kook ^.^/

jj_k: anything for you hyung

seokjingay: you see how nice he’s being? why dont u ever do that for me wtf

jj_k: hag

seokjingay: infant

jj_k: old man

seokjingay: stupid little baby man

park_jmn: CAN YOU TWO ARGUE LATER!!!

hobi: jiminie calm down~ please~

park_jmn: okie hobi hyung~

seokjingay: ((how does he do that))

crabjoon: ((i stopped asking years ago.))

crabjoon: okay i think i’ve found taehyung?

park_jmn: what do you mean you THINK

suga: where is he

crabjoon: the middle? of the ocean?

park_jmn: WHAT!!!!!

[crabjoon has sent *screenshot_png*]

seokjingay: oh my god

jj_k: how

park_jmn: HOW DID HE GET THERE

park_jmn: ANSWER ME KIM NAMJOON!!

crabjoon: I DON’T NOW!

crabjoon: the tracking app doesn’t say anything other than the fact that he’s in the ocean.

suga: wait

suga: zoom in

crabjoon: ?

hobi: wait...u dont think?...

suga: i do

park_jmn: can we STOP BEING CRYPTIC FOR 3 SECONDS PLEASE!!!

crabjoon: he’s on an island!

park_jmn: wait what

seokjingay: what island?

crabjoon: not one i’ve ever heard of?...

crabjoon: destiny island?

jj_k: just like kingdom hearts

seokjingay: shut up this isnt the time for your nerd shit

suga: that is

suga: the most ominous island ive ever heard of

hobi: how so? i think destiny sounds nice -w-

suga: when your friend goes missing and is in the middle of the fucking ocean on a place called destiny island its a little weird, hobi

hobi: fair

jj_k: so...what do we do?

crabjoon: let’s call him maybe?

park_jmn: i’ve already tried!! he hasn’t answered me!!!

suga: ok now this is getting weird

seokjingay: yeah

seokjingay: he never leaves you on read

seokjingay: me, however.

jj_k: don’t take it personally he does it to me too

seokjingay: i will take it as personally as i please, maknae

crabjoon: should we...go to the island?

suga: okay namjoon no this has bad idea written all over it

park_jmn: I WANT MY BUTTCHEEK!!!

hobi: jimin ^^;;;

suga: we dont even have a boat. how would we get there

jj_k: wait hyung

suga: yes

jj_k: no not you

jj_k: hobi hyung

jj_k: doesn’t your friend have a boat

hobi: which one ?.?

jj_k: the pirate guy in your dance crew

jj_k: the guy who chews his drinks

hobi: yunho????

jj_k: yeah him

crabjoon: he’s a pirate?

seokjingay: he chews his drinks?

hobi: i always thought he was joking about the pirate thing...

suga: i mean, theres no harm in asking

park_jmn: you better ask!!!!! he could be our only chance!!!!

hobi: ok let me hit him up ^^;;

crabjoon: does anyone even know how to drive a boat?

seokjingay: how different can it be from driving a car

crabjoon: very.

park_jmn: well, he’ll have to do!!!!!

jj_k: i could always try

jj_k: i’m good at everything

seokjingay: i call dibs on being captain

suga: so when are we going to destiny island if we do, in fact, obtain a boat?

park_jmn: right now obviously!!!!

suga: but

suga: i have a midterm tomorrow...

jj_k: hyung, in your own words, ‘fuck school’

seokjingay: hell yeah! fuck the system

crabjoon: hyung, i agree--i have psychology class tomorrow, but right now, taehyung is more important. he could be in trouble.

suga: yeah, but he’s also a grown man

park_jmn: i don’t think you’re taking this very seriously!!!!

suga: i am, i promise, jimin

park_jmn: i don’t think you are!! my BEST friend is missing and i don’t know wher ehe is and im freakignt he fuck otu;;!!

crabjoon: c’mon everyone, let’s chill.

seokjingay: you can always talk to hyung, jimin~ i’ll be here for you

park_jmn: okay...

park_jmn: i’m sorry for freaking out, everyone

park_jmn: it’s just

park_jmn: taehyung is the only thing i have :(

park_jmn: he’s home to me

park_jmn: and i’m afraid of something happening to him

suga: don’t worry, jimin. we’ll get him back

jj_k: yeah hyung we promise

crabjoon: as soon as we get that boat, we’ll go to destiny island ^^

seokjingay: let’s go! captain seokjin sparrow on a rescue mission to get taehyung!

hobi: he said no :(

seokjingay: nevermind!

park_jmn: WTF WHY!!!!

hobi: well he says its because none of us know how to drive a boat and hes afraid were going to crash it

park_jmn: I’LL CRASH IT ON FUCKING PURPOSE WTF GIVE IT TO US?!

crabjoon: did you tell him it’s for an emergency?

hobi: not yet....but i can try...brb

suga: ok well if we can’t get a boat what are we gonna do

crabjoon:...get a plane?

seokjingay: if we can’t get a boat, namjoon, wHAT MAKES YOU THINK WE CAN GET A PLANE

crabjoon: geez sorry for having ideas.

jj_k: hey hyung tell yunho i’m good at everything! maybe that will change his mind

hobi: it did :)

jj_k: wow ok

suga: ??? that easy?

hobi: well no i had to cry and tell him one of my best friends was missing on destiny island and he was our only hope so he gave me the keys to his boat

hobi: he and his friends said they could help us drive it

seokjingay: are all of his friend pirates?

hobi: yeah it’s like their thing @.@

park_jmn: what are we waiting for?! LET’S GO!!!

crabjoon: where’s the boat, hobi?

[hobi has shared their location!]

seokjingay: nice

seokjingay: oh wait before i forget

seokjingay: @choi_soobin call off the search

choi_soobin: You guys found him?

seokjingay: yeah

seokjingay: we’re going to destiny island

seokjingay: and if we dont come back in 3 days ring the alarm, kid

hobi: tell taehyun i said bye, soobinie :(

choi_soobin: Will do!!

* * *

suga: why

suga: is the boat named ss mmmohehoh

seokjingay: why is our driver’s leg broken

hobi: thats jongho ^^;; hes injured so he cant dance and he volunteered to drive the boat for us

suga: so we’re ignoring ss mmmhohehoh huh

crabjoon: i think it has a deeper meaning. 

crabjoon: it sounds like a song, doesn’t it? a group of pirate friends singing a song while riding a boat together...it sort of symbolizes that bond, doesn’t it?

hobi: wow *_*

hobi: just like us!

jj_k: no jongho just said its because they thought it sounded funny

crabjoon: well nevermind then.

park_jmn: ENOUGH CHITCHAT!!! LET’S GO RESCUE TAEHYUNG!!!!

crabjoon: yes sir!

* * *

hobi: um

hobi: hello???

hobi: everyone...

hobi: why is it so dark in here?

hobi: i dont remember what happened

hobi: we were heading to the island

hobi: jongho was singing sea shanties like theyre opera

hobi: and then suddenly everything went black

hobi: i woke up in this room by myself and i dont remember how i got here

hobi: all i have is my phone

hobi: everyone? ;_;

hobi: am i all alone?...

suga: no hobi, i’m here

hobi: HYUNG

hobi: omg i was about to freak out

suga: i’ve got you

suga: basically the same thing happened to me

suga: i was arguing with seokjin about the best fishing methods and now, i’m in this dark room

suga: i can’t see anything

jj_k: hyungs?

hobi: kookie!!

jj_k: is anyone else in a room with smooth walls

suga: yeah, the both of us

jj_k: i’ve already felt around for exits and i couldn’t find any

park_jmn: guys???

suga: jimin!

hobi: where’s namjoon and seokjin hyung then? ;_;

jj_k: hey

jj_k: wait a minute

jj_k: this isn't the normal groupchat

crabjoon: what do you mean?

park_jmn: there you are!!

park_jmn: where’s jin hyung??

crabjoon: i don’t know. i’m alone, sorry.

suga: wait backtrack

suga: what do you mean this isnt the normal groupchat, jungkook

jj_k: soobin isn’t here

jj_k: look at the members

jj_k: taehyung isn’t here, either

jj_k: it's just the six of us

park_jmn: okay WHAT THE FUCK!!!

park_jmn: i can’t even @ taehyung now?!

hobi: soobinie would never leave the groupchat so long as seokjin hyung was in it >.>

crabjoon: where is he, anyways?

suga: is anyone getting any signal? can we call him?

crabjoon: no signal, but we’re clearly connected to something if can text each other, so we have to be able to call, right?

jj_k: no

suga: ?

jj_k: i can’t exit the app

hobi:...me neither 

park_jmn: I CAN’T EITHER

crabjoon: i can...

suga: well, i can’t. 

hobi: how come joonie can, then?

crabjoon: well, most of the apps are gone from my phone, but there’s just one...

suga: ?

crabjoon: it’s just called ‘game’.

suga: much wow. so original

[crabjoon has sent *screenshot_png*]

park_jmn: ‘begin game’???

crabjoon: there’s no other information...

suga: should we start it, then?

hobi: i dont think we should

hobi: not until seokjin hyung gets here

crabjoon: good idea, hobah.

park_jmn: ok so

park_jmn: first taehyung goes missing, we get a boat to go to destiny island which BTW IS THE MOST TERRIFYING NAME EVER, and then we all black out at the same time and wake up in dark rooms together?

seokjingay: what the fuck is going on

hobi: HYUNG!!!

suga: oh thank god

jj_k: hyung! do you have any exits in your room?

seokjingay: what the fuck are you guys talking about

crabjoon: what do you mean?

seokjingay: i’m fine?

seokjingay: i’m in this brightly lit room its all white and theres a fluffy white couch and a bowl of jellybeans for me

seokjingay: i don’t see any doors but honestly why would i want to leave

seokjingay: there’s a mirror too! 

park_jmn: i’m so upset

jj_k: well hyung the rest of us are in dark empty rooms by ourselves

seokjingay: sucks to be you LMAO

seokjingay: ok wait no i can’t stand for this

seokjingay: if you guys suffer i have to suffer too

seokjingay: or at least get you all in here with me!

crabjoon: well, should i begin the game, then?

seokjingay: what game?

suga: go ahead. maybe it will give us answers.

hobi: im scared...

suga: don’t worry, hobi. i’m right here

hobi: but ur not tho :(

[crabjoon has started The Game!]

[Admin has entered the chat!]

Admin: Salutations.

seokjingay: look at this motherfucker

seokjingay: so pretentious

seokjingay: just say yo like the rest of us

Admin: Yo.

seokjingay: that’s more like it, ominous admin

suga: who are you?

park_jmn: WHERE’S TAEHYUNG?!

hobi: where’s jongho, and our boat?

Admin: I am all, I am one, I am none. You may simply call me the Administrator, or the Admin, for short.

jj_k: what the fuck

Admin: Where Taehyung is will be revealed in due time, Park Jimin.

park_jmn: HOW DOES HE KNOW MY NAME

suga: its literally in your username

park_jmn: oh yeah

Admin: As for Jongho and the S.S. Mmmohehoh, well, their state of being all depends on you.

hobi: yunhos gonna kill me

suga: you guys kidnapped taehyung, right?

Admin: I wouldn’t call it kidnapping. Perhaps, unwillful Uber-driving.

seokjingay: okay, you know what! i’m mad

seokjingay: NOBODY gets to uber drive my friends against their will except for ME!!!

suga: you guys used taehyung as bait, then?

Admin: Precisely.

crabjoon: and we fell for it...

park_jmn: well, DUH!!

park_jmn: listen up administrator man

park_jmn: or woman

park_jmn: or person of unidentified gender

park_jmn: I DON’T LIKE YOU!!!!

park_jmn: you know why? YOU TOOK MY BUTTCHEEK AWAY FROM ME!!!

park_jmn: and i want him BACK!!!

Admin: You will get your buttcheek back. First, you need to complete a few tasks for me.

park_jmn: FUCK your tasks!!!

jj_k: wait hyung, let’s hear him out, it may be the only way we get taehyung back

Admin: Well, you six have chosen to start The Game, and nobody can leave until The Game is complete.

crabjoon: what is The Game, then?

Admin: It is everything, and nothing.

Admin: There are three stages.

seokjingay: oh yeah? bring it, freak

Admin: The first game will be relatively simple.

hobi: is it gonna be like step up

Admin: ...No?

hobi: step up 2: the streets

Admin: No.

hobi: step up 3d

Admin: Please stop.

hobi: step up revolution

[Admin has temporarily taken away hobi’s texting privileges!]

park_jmn: YOU CAN DO THAT?!

Admin: Your first game will have you placed in pairs. One of you will answer a question, and if you get it wrong, you could possibly cost your friend their life.

Admin: Simply put, you fail The Game, you fail your friend.

jj_k: just like sword art online

seokjingay: jungkook shut up

Admin: We have already decided the pairs for you.

suga: aw man this is just like high school

Admin: Kim Namjoon and Jeon Jungkook.

Admin: Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok.

Admin: Kim Seokjin and Park Jimin.

suga: oh wait this is good

jj_k: you’ve got this, hyung

crabjoon: thanks, kookie.

park_jmn: my partner is JIN HYUNG?

seokjingay: you doubt my intellect??

park_jmn: no i just don’t think you’re taking this very sERIOUSLY!!

seokjingay: whoa okay

seokjingay: i’m sorry jiminie

seokjingay: hyung’s got this, okay?

seokjingay: we’re gonna get taehyung back

seokjingay: i promise <3

park_jmn: thank u, hyung...

hobi: i trust yoongi hyung w my life ^^

suga: <3

Admin: Well, if that’s all decided, then, the first pair will be Kim Namjoon and Jeon Jungkook.

jj_k: hyung can answer the questions if he wants

jj_k: he’s smart, he can handle this

crabjoon: thank you. alright, i accept your challenge.

[crabjoon has been removed from the chatroom!]

seokjingay: WTF

jj_k: HYUNG?

suga: guys chill its probably to prevent cheating

park_jmn: NAMJOON !!!!!!

* * *

[Admin has created a chatroom with crabjoon!]

Admin: Hello, Kim Namjoon.

Admin: Your categories are VIDEO GAMES, ANIME, and DANCE.

Admin: Choose wisely.

crabjoon: oh god

crabjoon: ummm.

crabjoon: is it too late to ask jungkook to take my place?

Admin: Yes.

crabjoon: wow okay

crabjoon: when you said answer questions i thought you meant, like, math.

Admin: Your answers will be timed, Kim Namjoon. If you fail to answer all three in less than two minutes, you will receive a penalty. If you get an answer wrong, Jeon Jungkook could potentially die.

crabjoon: i won’t let that happen.

crabjoon: all right. i choose video games.

Admin: In the game KINGDOM HEARTS: BIRTH BY SLEEP, A FRAGMENTARY PASSAGE, what is the name of Aqua, Ventus, and Terra’s mentor?

crabjoon: what the fuck

* * *

suga: don’t panic guys, namjoon’s got this

suga: he’s the smartest guy we all know

jj_k: i have faith in hyung

hobi: right!! we need to have faith!! i trust namjoonie!!!

seokjingay: he’s probably showing that admin what for as we speak!

* * *

crabjoon: um.

crabjoon: can i switch categories?

Admin: You may not.

crabjoon: okay.

crabjoon: kingdom hearts...uh....

crabjoon: kookie’s talked about it before, and i’ve done my best to pay attention, but i really forget about it all.

Admin: You have one minute and thirty seconds left, Kim Namjoon.

crabjoon: okay okay!

crabjoon: umm.....yen sid?

crabjoon: no, that’s not my final answer.

crabjoon: it’s...

crabjoon: he’s talked about it before, i’m sure! and i listened, because i’m a good hyung!

crabjoon: what was it????

Admin: One minute and fifteen seconds.

crabjoon: god.

crabjoon: okay, my final answer is eraqus. 

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: Your next question is this: in the hit FPS game Overwatch, what is the name of the gang that the character Jesse McCree is from?

crabjoon: i know this one! it’s his favorite game!

crabjoon: deadlock, final answer.

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: Your final question is: in the game FIVE NIGHTS AT FREDDY’S, what are the names of all of the animatronics?

crabjoon: oh. god.

Admin: you have forty-five seconds, left.

crabjoon: i’ve never played this game.

crabjoon: i’ve never heard jungkook talk about it, either.

crabjoon: but i’ve heard a lot about it, when it was popular...

Admin: Thirty seconds left.

crabjoon: okay okay okay

crabjoon: there’s a bunny, a fox, a chicken, the bear...

crabjoon: do we get any hints?

Admin: You do not.

crabjoon: okay.

crabjoon: i’m trying not to panic.

Admin: Fifteen seconds.

crabjoon: whats going to happen to jungkook if i get it wrong?

Admin: Ten seconds.

crabjoon: i think all of their names sounded like their respective animals?

Admin: Five seconds.

crabjoon: okay. foxy, bunny, chica, and freddy, that’s my final answer.

Admin: You are INCORRECT.

Admin: Jeon Jungkook will pay for your mistake.

* * *

[crabjoon has been added to the chatroom!]

crabjoon: NO!

seokjingay: what happened?!

crabjoon: I GOT A QUESTION WRONG! JUNGKOOK?!

Admin: Enacting Jeon Jungkook’s punishment now.

hobi: KOOKIE???

park_jmn: JEON JUNGKOOK, THIS ISN’T FUNNY!!

suga: WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM.

seokjingay: NOBODY GETS TO MESS WITH THE MAKNAE BUT ME, YOU FREAK

jj_k: guys im ok

park_jmn: OH THANK GOD!!!

crabjoon: what happened?!

jj_k: ok so don’t freak out but the floor fell away

hobi: WHAT

jj_k: yeah but this metal bar shot out first and i managed to hold onto it before i could fall

jj_k: i’m typing with one hand now and hanging with the other

seokjingay: thank god you’re a muscular little baby jesus fuck

jj_k: thanks hyung

crabjoon: i’m so sorry, kookie.

crabjoon: the categories aren’t normal. they’re dance, video games, and anime.

hobi: dance?

seokjingay: anime?

crabjoon: yes. i picked video games, but i didn’t know the last question, and i failed.

crabjoon: jungkook, i’m so sorry.

jj_k: its ok hyung this is a good work out for me

crabjoon: yes, but you were counting on me...

suga: so who’s next?

Admin: Up next is Min Yoongi and Jung Hoseok.

suga: hobi, are you thinking what i’m thinking?

hobi: i think so !

park_jmn: what’s that?

suga: if, among the categories, one is dance, then...

hobi: piece of cake!

seokjingay: hobi’s got it

crabjoon: yes. and after that...

seokjingay: anime is my middle name!

jj_k: in a way, it’s good you went, hyung. i tell you about video games the most. everyone else would have failed.

seokjingay: um, i literally play video games?

jj_k: but not the type i do.

Admin: Jung Hoseok, you choose to go for your team?

hobi: i do!

[hobi has been removed from the chatroom!]

suga: i don’t like that.

* * *

[Admin has created a chatroom with hobi!]

hobi: wow ok ㅠ.ㅠ

hobi: this is scary

Admin: Hello, Jung Hoseok.

hobi: hi ㅠ.ㅠ/

Admin: Your categories are LITERATURE, COUNTRIES, and ROCK BANDS OF THE 70s.

Admin: Choose wisely.

hobi: oh no

Admin: Oh, yes.

hobi: ok countries! i pick countries

hobi: my dad is a literature professor but i never paid any attention...sorry dad...

Admin: Which country has the highest number of isolated tribes in it?

hobi: omg

hobi: polynesian tribes count, right?

hobi: wait no

hobi: i know this! i do

hobi: it definitely isnt america

Admin: You have one minute and thirty seconds left.

hobi: IM BEING TIMED???

hobi: OK

hobi: BRAZIL

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: Which country was the first to legalize same-sex marriage, as in, civil marriage?

hobi: ok this one feels personal for some reason

hobi: but i know the answer

hobi: holland! or, the netherlands? does it matter which name i use?

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: Which country is it completely legal for prisoners to try and escape?

hobi: is it this one? can we escape? can we go home please?

Admin: Is that your final answer?

hobi: NO

Admin: You have thirty seconds left.

hobi: its european i know this

hobi: i passed geography for a reason and i cant let yoongi down!! ok, germany!

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: Congratulations. Yoongi may live to see another day.

* * *

[hobi has been added to the chatroom!]

hobi: HYUNG I DID IT!!!

suga: <3 im proud of you

seokjingay: hell yeah anime time

hobi: WAIT NO

hobi: they switched the categories!

crabjoon: they did what?

hobi: the categories i got were literature, countries, and rock bands of the 70s

hobi: i passed, but theyre probably going to switch the categories again

jj_k: ruh roh

park_jmn: so...its completely random???

Admin: That is correct.

seokjingay: listen here buster

seokjingay: i do not fucking like you

Admin: That does not quite matter.

Admin: Kim Seokjin and Park Jimin, who is going next?

seokjingay: geez

seokjingay: jimin, i can’t do this to you. i don’t want you to get hurt

seokjingay: you go instead. if you get something wrong, hyung will handle it

park_jmn: but i don’t want the floor to fall away either!

seokjingay: hey this couch is pretty comfy i think i’ll be just fine

park_jmn: but hyung

park_jmn: i

park_jmn: i don’t think i can do this

crabjoon: sure you can, jimin!

park_jmn: no u dont understand

park_jmn: im panicking

park_jmn: all i can think about is taehyung

park_jmn: and we all know my temper gets in the way

park_jmn: i might just end up screaming at the guy

jj_k: that’s true

seokjingay: but jimin, i don’t want to hurt u

park_jmn: its okay hyung :)

park_jmn: you’re older than me, anyways! i bet you know tons of stuff

hobi: ;__; we trust you hyung

suga: we know you won’t let jimin get hurt

seokjingay: okay

seokjingay: alright, alright, i accept your challenge, administrator person

Admin: As a result of Jung Hoseok’s easy breeze through the questions, Kim Seokjin, your consequences will be doubled.

seokjingay: WHAT

park_jmn: HUH?!

Admin: You will have one minute to answer three questions, and if you get any of them incorrect, or fail to answer all three of them, you will subject both Park Jimin and Min Yoongi to punishments.

suga: this isn’t what i meant when i said everything should be shared under communism

seokjingay: WHAT THE HELL MAN

[seokjingay has been removed from the chatroom!]

hobi: OH NO ;____;

jj_k: what happened to trusting hyung?!

crabjoon: but he only has one minute to answer three questions, kook. it’s a lot harder than it sounds.

suga: if jungkook is hanging from a pole in the middle of a void, i’m not sure i’ll be able to handle the same punishment

suga: i have noodle arms

hobi: HYUNG IM SCARED

suga: don’t be~ jin hyung’s got this~

park_jmn: WE NEED TO HAVE FAITH IN HYUNG!!!

* * *

[Admin has created a chatroom with seokjingay!]

Admin: Hello, Kim Seokjin.

seokjingay: whaddup bitch

Admin:Your categories are RARE DISEASES, BOOKS WRITTEN BY FEMALE AUTHORS, and RIDDLES.

Admin: Choose wisely.

seokjingay: real shit?

seokjingay: okay, i choose riddles

seokjingay: cant be that hard

Admin: You have exactly one minute to answer three riddles, and if you fail this task, Min Yoongi and Park Jimin risk their lives.

Admin: Sharks wait for one, and lasers for the other.

seokjingay: i really do not like you

Admin: The feeling is mutual.

Admin: Your one minute starts now.

Admin: How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?

seokjingay: ten tickles

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: How do fish get high?

seokjingay: seaweed

Admin: You are correct.

Admin: What happened to the Italian chef who died?

seokjingay: he pasta way

Admin: You are correct. Congratulations.

Admin: Excuse my language, but that was fucking impressive.

seokjingay: thanks <3

* * *

[seokjingay has been added to the chatroom!]

park_jmn: IF WE TRUST IN HIM THEN WE oh that took like 10 seconds

suga: i’m still firmly planted on the ground, so

seokjingay: i did it bitches!

crabjoon: yay hyung!

jj_k: hell yeah!!

park_jmn: I’M PROUD OF YOU!!!

seokjingay: easy peasy lemon squeezy

Admin: Congratulations. You have passed the first stage of The Game.

Admin: As a reward, I will tell you of Kim Taehyung’s whereabouts.

park_jmn: THANK FUCKING GOD?!?!?!

[vantae has been added to the chatroom!]

vantae: Wow

park_jmn: TAEHYUNG WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU ARE U OKAY DID THEY DO ANYTHIGN TO YUOU ARE YOU HURT DO YOU NEE D ADOC TOR SHOULDW E CLAL 911

vantae: I’m fine! really!

vantae: I missed you jimin

park_jmn: I MISSED U TOO WTF <3

vantae: :,)

park_jmn: :,)

seokjingay: this is nice and all but um taehyung what the fuck

hobi: you made hyung so worried, taehyung ;_;

vantae: I’m sorry hobi hyung

hobi: its fine just dont do it again pwease ;w;

crabjoon: where are you?

vantae: I don’t know!

suga: well thats dandy

vantae: But I have a guy here with me? They just brought him in here randomly

vantae: His hair looks like that time jungkook dyed his half red and his leg is broken

hobi: jongho!!!

vantae: Yeah he won’t stop singing

suga: well, what about the boat

vantae: What boat

crabjoon: we came here in a boat.

vantae: Let me ask jongho

[vantae has been removed from the chatroom!]

park_jmn: WHAT THE FUCK I FUCKIGN HATE YOU

Admin: You know that he is alive and well, and you also know about the whereabouts of Choi Jongho, which was supposed to be your next prize, but it seems like we have to come up with something else now.

jj_k: guys my arm is starting to get tired

hobi: well as a prize can jungkook get his floor back? like as a treat?

Admin: After Kim Seokjin’s impressive performance, perhaps.

jj_k: oh i have a floor now

jj_k: i can't feel my fingers

seokjingay: you owe me maknae

jj_k: thanks father for my life

Admin: Stage two will be somewhat similar.

Admin: Unfortunately, Kim Seokjin is too good at this game, so we have decided to saddle him with a penalty.

seokjingay: WHAT THE HELL

[seokjingay’s texting privileges have been changed!]

crabjoon: hyung????

suga: what’s going on

park_jmn: oh no....

crabjoon: what did you do to him?!

hobi: I DON’T LIKE THIS

seokjingay: Area Man Can Only Type In News Headlines Now

jj_k: but you’re okay right

seokjingay: Sources Say Kim Seokjin Still As Beautiful As Ever

suga: yeah he’s fine

Admin: If Kim Seokjin violates this penalty, he will be ELIMINATED.

jj_k: just like danganronpa

seokjingay: ‘I Just Wish The Maknae Would Shut Up,’ Says Local Beauty

crabjoon: well, what are the rules for stage two, then?

Admin: A game of...well. Let’s just cut to the chase.

Admin: One of you is a mole.

suga: exsqueeze me

Admin: You heard me, Min Yoongi.

Admin: One of you is working for us. Has been, this whole time.

Admin: Your job is to figure out who the mole is.

Admin: Should you guess incorrectly, we will eliminate the person you have chosen.

crabjoon: and what happens if we do guess correctly?

Admin: That remains to be seen.

park_jmn: OKAY HOLD ON??????

park_jmn: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN ONE OF US IS A MOLE.

park_jmn: LIKE ONE OF US IS A TRAITOR?

park_jmn: OR ONE OF US IS *PRETENDING* TO BE US??

Admin: You will have to figure that out.

Admin: You have ten minutes.

seokjingay: Kim Seokjin Is So Fucking Mad, CNN Reports

hobi:...guys?

hobi: they’re lying, right?

crabjoon: hobah...

hobi: no, one of us can’t be the mole

hobi: i don’t believe it

suga: hoseok, it’s not the time for that

suga: our lives are at stake. we have to figure out who’s lying

park_jmn: i don’t believe it, either. i mean. 

park_jmn: but we have to figure it out

jj_k: i don’t want it to be true

jj_k: i trust all of you

crabjoon: you trust your friends, yes...but that doesn’t rule out the possibility that someone is impersonating one of us.

seokjingay: Poll Indicates That Audience Fucking Hates It Here

park_jmn: i’m

park_jmn: i know i’ve been so mad today

park_jmn: but whoever the mole is...please. just tell us

park_jmn: please

park_jmn: i want taehyung back

suga: if the mole’s life is at stake too, then they wouldn’t tell us

suga: they probably didn’t even know it was going to happen

crabjoon: well, we have to think, guys. who’s acting the most suspicious?

jj_k: i don’t think any of us are

suga: that kind of thinking isn’t going to cut it.

suga: personally...i think jin.

seokjingay: ‘WHAT THE FUCK’ Can Be Heard Even From This Distance, Experts Say

crabjoon: whoa, okay, back it up.

crabjoon: why?

suga: the admin said he was too good at the game, and gave him this weird typing penalty.

suga: who’s to say that they did this so that we wouldn’t be able to question him properly, and we’d let him slide based on that alone?

hobi: hyung....please stop

seokjingay: Kim Seokjin Vows To Kick Min Yoongi’s Ass. What Happens Next Will Warm Your Heart

jj_k: no, he acts exactly like seokjin hyung

park_jmn: no one else is this annoying

crabjoon: but you guys are assuming that it’s someone impersonating us, and not really...us

park_jmn: what are you fucking implying, namjoon?

crabjoon: i’m just saying anything’s possible.

park_jmn: well you know what? i think its yoongi

hobi: please stop. seriously!

suga: what?? why?

park_jmn: because you were the first one to start pointing fingers!

suga: i just took the initiative to do something i knew nobody wanted to do. i chose to make this sacrifice

suga: jin hyung, do you have anything to say about your innocence?

hobi: stop it!!

seokjingay: Top Ten Reasons Why You Should Believe Kim Seokjin Is Real; Number Ten, Unmatched Beauty

suga: :/

seokjingay: Number Nine, Because The Category Was Dad Jokes And I Won You Stupid Bitch! Number Eight, What If They Gave Me The Penalty So I Can’t Prove My Innocence? Number Seven Will Surprise You

park_jmn: well what do you have to say about YOUR innocence, min yoongi????

suga: what would i have to gain from this?

jj_k: what would seokjin hyung have to gain?

jj_k: you argument is weak, hyung

jj_k: i don’t like this

crabjoon: none of us do, kook

hobi: i refuse to believe it!!

hobi: it cant be jin hyung or yoongi hyung! it CANT!

park_jmn: well, it’s ONE OF US, HYUNG!!

crabjoon: seokjin hyung, who do you think it is?

seokjingay: ‘No One. Nobody. I Trust All Of You,’ Kim Seokjin Bravely Tells Reporter

crabjoon: well...if we’re doing this. i personally think it’s jungkook.

Admin: You have five minutes.

jj_k:...but why?

hobi: ARE U KIDDING ME?! HES THE MAKNAE!!

crabjoon: i don’t think it’s jungkook, per se. i think it’s someone pretending to be jungkook.

crabjoon: the real jungkook would never do this.

jj_k: hyung...

suga: explain your reasons

park_jmn: THIS IS SO STUPID!!!!

seokjingay: Kim Seokjin Is So Fucking Mad, Again

crabjoon: he keeps disappearing from the chatroom for long periods of time, and he was taehyung’s roommate. what if they kidnapped jungkook too, but none of us know it?

jj_k: i was HANGING FROM A POLE

crabjoon: i know. i’m sorry. i’m just bringing up possibilities. our lives are at stake.

crabjoon: but no one can prove you were really hanging from a pole.

crabjoon: none of us can see each other.

hobi: NO!!!

hobi: IVE HAD ENOUGH!!!!

hobi: UR RIGHT OUR LIVES ARE AT STAKE

hobi: BUT NOBODY COULD DO THIS

hobi: WE ALL SOUND LIKE EACH OTHER

hobi: WE ALL ACT EXACTLY THE SAME

hobi: WE WOULDVE NOTICED IF ONE OF US WAS REPLACED WITH SOMEONE ELSE

suga: hobi...i know you want to have hope, but

suga: the facts are

suga: it could be one of us. truly

hobi: I DONT THINK SO HONEY BOY

hobi: BECAUSE NONE OF US WOULD BETRAY EACH OTHER!!!

hobi: NONE OF US WOULD DO SMTH SO STUPID

park_jmn: i agree!!!! even if i’m mad at yoongi right now, i agree!!!

jj_k: i’m with jimin and hobi on this one

seokjingay: The Heart Man Is Right. Promote Him To Heart Boss, Petitions The State

crabjoon: well...

Admin: You have two minutes left.

park_jmn: none of us are the traitor, and that’s that!!!!!!

suga: that’s not how this works, jimin

suga: we can either eliminate the wrong person, and the mole walks free, or we can take them out now

suga: i agree that i don’t think any of us would betray each other, but what we’re told is that someone here is a mole, and we have to eliminate them to survive

crabjoon: i would rather that we eliminate someone pretending to be us than one of us, guys, so we need your help.

crabjoon: please.

crabjoon: to figure out who it is.

jj_k: i don’t want to, hyung

crabjoon: i know, kook.

hobi: namjoonie...this isn’t right

hobi: and yoongi

suga: hobi?

hobi: im mad at u right now

suga: i know

suga: but it has to be this way

hobi: please trust me

Admin: You have one minute.

suga: but the mole

hobi: no!! they have to be lying!

crabjoon: hobah, why would they?

hobi: i dont know!!!!! smth dumb probably!!!! 

hobi: but i dont trust them, and i dont trust them to tell the truth either!!!

hobi: so i vote: NO ONE! no one is the mole!

park_jmn: i also vote NO ONE!!!!!!

suga: guys...

jj_k: i’m with them

jj_k: i trust you guys

jj_k: so, i vote for no one

crabjoon: man.

crabjoon: you guys make this hard.

seokjingay: No One Currently Wins at 4-0, According To Scoreboard

crabjoon:...

crabjoon: you know what?

crabjoon: i vote for no one, too.

suga: guys

hobi: yoongi hyung

suga: sighs

suga: if it turns out im right

suga: i will haunt you from hell

suga: but

suga: i trust you

suga: so i vote for no one, too

Admin: Time’s up.

Admin: You are all CORRECT.

Admin: This stage was about trust, and you all chose to trust your friends, in the end.

Admin: Your prize is Kim Seokjin’s penalty being revoked.

[seokjingay now has normal chatroom privileges!]

seokjingay: OH THANK FUCKING GOD

Admin: However, Min Yoongi, because you were the first to doubt your friends, you will receive a penalty in his place.

suga: thats fair

[suga’s texting privileges have changed!]

park_jmn: hyung?

suga: i hawve to twype in uwu speech now owo

seokjingay: LMAAAO THATS WHAT U GET FOR SUSPECTING ME

seokjingay: but i forgive you

seokjingay: you did what nobody wanted to

suga: thanks hywung~ nya

park_jmn: i forgive you too. even if im still mad.

suga: hobie?

hobi: im glad u trusted me, hyung :)

suga: uwu

crabjoon: what’s the next part of the game, then?

Admin: The final stage of The Game will immediately put one of your lives in danger.

suga: oh fwuck

Admin: While they are in danger, you will have five minutes to correctly guess the item. For every incorrect guess, one of you will be put in danger. You must ask a yes or no question in order to receive information about the item. If you do not guess it within five minutes, your original teammate in danger will be ELIMINATED. If you do not guess in ten minutes, those of you currently in danger will be ELIMINATED. At fifteen minutes, all of you will be ELIMINATED.

hobi: i fucking HATE THIS

Admin: Who chooses to be in danger?

jj_k: i do

seokjingay: WTF????

seokjingay: NOT WITHOUT OUR INPUT, MAKNAE

park_jmn: YEAH MAN WHAT THE HELL??!!?!

crabjoon: kook, no.

crabjoon: it should be me

jj_k: but hyung

jj_k: you’re so smart

jj_k: it should be me

jj_k: guys i’m pretty sturdy

jj_k: if it’s anything like dangling from a pole, i can handle it

jj_k: it should be me

jj_k: so none of my hyungs get hurt

hobi: kookie... ;_; u dont have to. its our job as hyungs to protect u

jj_k: well maybe i want to return the favor!

jj_k: i feel like it’s my fault for not sounding the alarm about taehyung sooner...

seokjingay: that’s water under the bridge! you are NOT doing this, maknae!

jj_k: admin person, i choose to be the person in danger

Admin: Jeon Jungkook’s punishment begins now.

seokjingay: NO

seokjingay: FUCK YOU YOU STUPID LITTLE INFANT

seokjingay: FUCK

suga: okay guys i understand we’we vewy scawed but we need to this qwickly so jungkook doesnt get huwt

suga: kookie? you good owo?

jj_k: so my room started filling up with water

hobi: WHAT

jj_k: its okay, its only at my ankles right now

jj_k: but at the rate its going, it’ll be up to my face pretty soon

jj_k: its a good thing i can hold my breath for long heh

park_jmn: this isnt FUNNY!!!!

park_jmn: okay, admin!!!! i’ll go first. is the item big or small?

Admin: It must be yes or no questions.

park_jmn: okay!!! is it big?

Admin: No.

park_jmn: .D;DN113.NL’P`2/

hobi:....jiminie??

crabjoon: yo, jimin?

park_jmn: MY PHONE SHOCKED ME WTF

Admin: I forgot to mention that all of you have a limited number of questions you can ask until the shock from your phone kills you.

Admin: If you attempt to let go of your phone, the floor of your room will drop.

seokjingay: i fucking HATE YOU FREAKS!!

jj_k: well in that case i should ask all of the questions first

suga: why? owo

jj_k: well if we only have a limited number of questions i need to ask them before the water gets up to my phone

jj_k: otherwise the electoruction might kill me

crabjoon: good point

jj_k: and if you guys run out of questions, i can’t use mine because i’ll be under water at that point

jj_k: or worse

hobi: admin, how many questions do we have each?

Admin: You’ll have to find out.

hobi: :((

jj_k: so guys...what’s next?

crabjoon: well, the item’s small, that’s all we know.

seokjingay: could it be food?

park_jmn: of course you jump to food, hyung

seokjingay: wtf is that supposed to mean

park_jmn: nothing~

Admin: You have reached one minute.

jj_k: the water’s almost at my knees, now

park_jmn: WTF!!! 

crabjoon: could be food. we should ask if it’s edible.

jj_k: gotcha

jj_k: admin, is the item edible?

Admin: No.

jj_k: ow

suga: awe you okay? owo

jj_k: yeah just stung a little

crabjoon: so it’s a small, non-edible item.

park_jmn: which could be literally BILLIONS OF THINGS

hobi: should we ask colors???

seokjingay: we’d go through the whole rainbow before we got anything good, hobi

hobi: oh ok i guess :(

jj_k: but we could ask if the item has a specific color! that way we can narrow it down if it’s a multi-colored item, an item with a lot of varieties, etc

crabjoon: yeah good thinking kook

jj_k: admin, is the item a specific color?

Admin: No.

jj_k: FUCK

crabjoon: you good?

jj_k: it really hurt

Admin: You have reached two minutes.

seokjingay: a small, non-edible item of nonspecific color

seokjingay: wow, this is SO EASY!

seokjingay: NOT!

seokjingay: admin, you will be on my hitlist, and also the hit list of a certain cherryhead boy i know

Admin: Initiating punishment for Kim Seokjin.

park_jmn: WHAT THE FUCK??!?!?

seokjingay: GUYS?

suga: jin hwyung whats happening owo

seokjingay: MY FLUFFY COUCH JUST EXPLODED?

seokjingay: IM COVERED IN JELLYBEAN RESIDUE?

seokjingay: AND ALSO I THINK THERE IS A FIRE SOMEWHERE

crabjoon: ok so we can’t threaten the admin anymore.

Admin: Three minutes have passed.

jj_k: guys we’re wasting time

jj_k: next question

hobi: ok um

hobi: is it something we use every day

jj_k: admin, is this item something we use every day?

Admin: Yes.

hobi: jungkookie?

seokjingay: ARE YOU GOOD MAKNAE? YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DIE BEFORE ME HOWEVER THAT MIGHT BE VERY SOON BECAUSE ITS REALLY HOT IN HERE

jj_k: the water is at my elbows now i have to hold up my phone really high and i almost dropped it

jj_k: but that shock seriously hurt

jj_k: i think i can ask one more question before it becomes lethal

crabjoon: you’re doing great, kook, okay?

park_jmn: anyone have any guesses yet????

suga: it’s not vewy pwecise yet though, it could be witerally anything

seokjingay: ask if the item can be expensive i’ve got an idea

jj_k: admin, can the item be expensive?

Admin: Yes.

park_jmn: jungkook??????

seokjingay: a small, non-edible item that we use everyday of nonspecific color that can be expensive

seokjingay: guys, i’ve got an idea

crabjoon: oh no

Admin: Four minutes have passed.

hobi: kookie?

jj_k: i think i’m out of questions, guys.

jj_k: also the water is at my neck 

jj_k: but there’s a couple of feet until the ceiling so i can float

jj_k: the good news is this phone is waterproof

seokjingay: that’s enough maknae, let the adults handle this

seokjingay: since my room is currently on fucking fire and we have one minute until jungkook perishes, i’m going to take a guess.

suga: we weally shouldnt until we discuss it uwu

seokjingay: his life is at stake!

seokjingay: admin, is the item a pair of shoes?

Admin: Incorrect.

Admin: Initiating punishment for Kim Seokjin.

jj_k: hyung?

seokjingay: im good the mirror just exploded too

seokjingay: i’ve got a couple more guesses up in this bitch brain of mine im not gonna let jungkook die!

jj_k: i believe in you hyung

hobi: okay!!! let’s ask another question!!!! who’s going to ask them now?

seokjingay: i will! admin, is the item something we all own?

Admin: Yes.

seokjingay: MOTHERFUCKER THAT HURT

park_jmn: okay one of us should ask the questions now because i’m really worried!!!!

suga: jimin is wight, hwyung, your room is on fiwe

Admin: You have reached five minutes.

crabjoon: KOOK

hobi: KOOKIE

jj_k: im hol ding my br eath guys

jj_k: ard to type under ater

seokjingay: COME ON LETS GET IDEAS PEOPLE!!!

park_jmn: OKAY UMMM DOES IT HAVE MULTIPLE USES?

seokjingay: hey smelly admin bitch, does the item have multiple uses?

Admin: Yes.

Admin: Initiating punishment for Kim Seokjin.

park_jmn: WHAT THE FUCK

suga: its becauwse he inswulted them again!

crabjoon: hyung?

suga: kookie u still good owo?

jj_k: f ine

jj_k: breat h running out 

park_jmn: GOD DAMN IT

park_jmn: IM ASKING QUESTIONS NEXT

hobi: seokjinnie hyung??!

park_jmn: ADMIN, IS THE ITEM DANGEROUS???

Admin: No.

park_jmn: #@(4.r//

hobi: jiminie!!!

suga: guys i downt have any good ideas owo

crabjoon: i’ve got a guess but...

crabjoon: jin hyung? you there?

suga: he’s nawt answewing...

hobi: kookie????

park_jmn: jk, you there?

crabjoon: neither of them are.

suga: we have to guess quickly then

park_jmn: i still have a question left!!!!! let me ask

crabjoon: no, i have a guess.

hobi: NAMJOONIE DONT

crabjoon: hey, admin. is the item a cellphone?

Admin: Correct.

park_jmn: ?????

park_jmn: THAT WAS RIGHT???

crabjoon: oh thank GOD.

suga: nyamjoon!!! you did it!!

crabjoon: i might start bein a christian fr

hobi: BUT WHAT ABOUT SEOKJIN HYUNG AND JUNGKOOKIE?

Admin: They have both been ELIMINATED.

hobi: WHAT

crabjoon: what does eliminated mean?

park_jmn: YOU CAN’T FUCKING KILL US!!!

park_jmn: YOU CANT DO THAT THATS ILLEGAL!!!

suga: guys...owo

crabjoon: does eliminated mean they’re out of the game, or they’re...

hobi: dont say it

hobi: i dont

hobi: i cant

suga: we need to focus...uwu

crabjoon: seokjin....kook....

suga: admin, what is the prize? this was the final stage, right? we can go home now? we can get our friends back? owo

park_jmn: GIVE US TAEHYUNG!!!

park_jmn: AND GIVE US SEOKJIN HYUNG AND THE MAKNAE BACK TOO!!

Admin: Patience.

[vantae has been added to the chatroom!]

vantae: Jesus what happened in here

crabjoon: seokjin and jungkook are gone.

vantae: Huh??

suga: the admin says they were eliminated owo

hobi: im crying

hobi: hyung

hobi: i want to go home

park_jmn: i want to go home and i want my fucking friends back!!!

vantae: Guys??

vantae: Seokjin hyng and Jungkook are right here

crabjoon: WHAT

vantae: Yeah they just got brought in

vantae: Jungkook is out cold and he’s all wet though

vantae: Seokjin hyung’s shirt is on fire so Jongho is spraying him with fire retardant

suga: so they’re okay uwu?

vantae: Yeah!!

crabjoon: so...when they’re eliminated, that just means they’re out of the game?

park_jmn: well i don’t trust that!!! what if they’re just going to eliminate them all TOGETHER???

hobi: noo stop i dont like that ;_;

vantae: I guess it’s a possibility

suga: but we beat the game. we made it this far. we should get to go home now right? owo

crabjoon: yeah.

crabjoon: admin, we played your game.

crabjoon: we won.

crabjoon: what happens now?

Admin: Kim Namjoon, you are the only person with the app.

hobi: the app??

[crabjoon has sent *screenshot.png*]

crabjoon: it changed....

park_jmn: what are you waiting for? click ‘FINISH’!!!!

crabjoon: but it says ‘start over’, too.

hobi: why would u want to play this again!!! im tired namjoonie!!

crabjoon: i know, but...

crabjoon: taehyung, are you alright?

vantae: I’m not sure

vantae: I haven’t seen anyone except these three

vantae: But theres weird panels on the walls

vantae: And it smells like gunpowder

vantae: Could just be hyung tho

suga: gunpowder??? owo

hobi: what does it all mean?

park_jmn: wait wait wait

park_jmn: namjoon hyung

park_jmn: do you think???...

crabjoon: i don’t know yet.

hobi: think what??

crabjoon: our options are ‘finish’ and ‘start over’.

crabjoon: it’s not very clear what either of those mean, but i don’t like this.

suga: me neither. if it was simple, we would just have the option to finish right here, right now. uwu

hobi: what are you guys getting at???

crabjoon: if we finish now...what happens to taehyung and the others?

vantae: I don’t know

vantae: No one here has told me anything

park_jmn: well that’s not very good is it?!? if we pick start over, does that mean we get them back?

hobi: wait

hobi: so u think if we start over, we could get taehyung and seokjin and jungkook and even jongho back?

crabjoon: it’s a possibility.

suga: which means we would get to replay the game with them and have the chance to not lose them, and finish the game with them? owo

crabjoon: precisely.

park_jmn: well let’s do it then!!!!!

park_jmn: lets get them back!!!!

crabjoon: but there’s the possibility that if we start over...we start over with just the four of us, which means we could lose even more people.

park_jmn: oh

hobi: oh no :(

crabjoon: i don’t like how this is worded.

suga: i don’t either uwu. but...and you’re going to hate me for saying this

suga: we should end the game now. if it’s true we lose the others, then...i don’t even want to think about that. but there’s still four of us. uwu

suga: what if when we start over, its just the four of us, and the others are eliminated anyways? then we’ll risk losing each other, too. owo. finishing it right now...it guarantees, at the very least, that four of us survive.

park_jmn: but what if we COULD get taehyung back, hyung? 

crabjoon: and what if we don’t, jimin?

vantae: Guys...

park_jmn: yeah??

vantae: We’ll be okay :)

vantae: Finish the game

park_jmn: what?!?! no!!!! we’re getting you back!!!!

vantae: I’m sure Jungkook and Seokjin hyung would agree

vantae: That you guys staying together and finishing together instead of losing each other too will be for the best

park_jmn: but we can’t leave with you!!!!

park_jmn: you’re my left buttcheek!!!! i just can’t leave half of my ass bEHIND!!!!

crabjoon: jimin....

suga: i understand, jimin, but we can’t risk losing ourselves too. owo

park_jmn: NO!!!

park_jmn: i vote we START OVER!!

hobi: guys...

park_jmn: i don’t want to finish without taehyung, or jungkook, or seokjin, or even that jongho guy!!! i want all of us TOGETHER!!!

crabjoon: there might not be any more of us if we start over, jimin.

park_jmn: this isn’t FAIR!!!!!

suga: you’re preaching to the choir of people who kidnap college students and put them in torture rooms for fun, jimin, uwu

suga: i vote that we finish. owo

suga: taehyung owo

suga: i’m sorry uwu

crabjoon: yeah.

crabjoon: taehyung. 

crabjoon: i’m so sorry.

crabjoon: you missed a good lecture, the other day.

vantae: It’s okay, hyungs

vantae: No hard feelings

park_jmn: YES THERE ARE!!!!

park_jmn: HOBI HYUNG, VOTE WITH ME!!! COME ON!!!!

hobi: i

hobi: i cant

crabjoon: i vote we finish.

crabjoon: hobi, it’s up to you.

suga: if hobi says start over, i will, uwu

hobi: this is too much pressure

hobi: i cant do this

hobi: this isnt fair

hobi: taehyungie, i miss you

vantae: I miss you too hyung

hobi: but i don’t want to lose jiminie or joonie or yoongi hyung too

suga: please trust me, hobi. uwu

suga: i’ll understand either decision we make, but 

suga: i don’t want to risk losing you too

Admin: Min Yoongi has violated his penalty. His punishment commences now.

crabjoon: FUCK

vantae: What’s happening

park_jmn: HYUNG?!?!?!?!?

hobi: NO

crabjoon: HOBI

hobi: OKAY

hobi: UM

hobi: FINISH IT. I VOTE WE FINISH IT

hobi: FINISH IT BEFORE SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIM

park_jmn: W ECAN’T!!! WE NEE D TOG ET ATHEYUGN!!

vantae: Jiminie

vantae: I love you :-)

park_jmn: UFCKYT YOU FUCK OYOU

Admin: Kim Namjoon has selected to finish The Game.

Admin: The Game will end in thirty seconds.

hobi: YOONGI HYUNG????

crabjoon: HYUNG

crabjoon: ARE YOU ALRIGHT?

vantae: Ah...the panels are opening

park_jmn: NO NO NO NO I DON’T LIKE THIS!!!!

park_jmn: I’M COMING TO SAVE YOU!!! FUCK THIS FUCK FUCK THIS FUCK TUFHERFBW

vantae: Don’t worry, jiminie

vantae: Cuz every little thing

vantae: Is gonna be alright

park_jmn: DONT QUOTE BOB MARLEY ON ME I FUCKIGN HATE YOU

park_jmn: KIM TAEHYUNG

park_jmn: I

The Game Has Ended.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> jj_k: jungkook  
> seokjingay: jin  
> crabjoon: namjoon  
> hobi: hoseok  
> suga: yoongi  
> vantae: taehyung  
> park_jmn: jimin
> 
> dadjoong (hongjoong)  
> dadhwa (seonghwa)  
> yunhoe (yunho)  
> oohyoung (wooyoung)  
> sanic (san)  
> mingi_thee_stallion (mingi)  
> yeoyeo (yeosang)  
> babie (jongho)

dadjoong: where is the baby

dadhwa: i have not seen The Baby™

oohyoung: yall had

oohyoung: literally one job

dadhwa: ok but its not our fault we have six children

oohyoung: ONE. JOB

dadjoong: no hwa is right its hard to keep track of you all

oohyoung: then maybe you shouldn’t have become parents then

dadhwa: why are u so mean to me. why are u so mean to your Father

oohyoung: i hate this fucking family

mingi_thee_stallion: WHERES JONGHO

dadhwa: thanks mingi

dadjoong: i haven’t seen him today :(

mingi_thee_stallion: WE WERE SUPPOSED TO PLAY GAMEESSS

mingi_thee_stallion: WHERES MY ROOMMATEEEE

dadjoong: dance practice?

oohyoung: his leg is broken

dadhwa: maybe he went anyways to watch Yunho

dadhwa: @yunho where’s Baby™

yunhoe: He took the boat

dadjoong: the S.S. Mmmoheoh?!

yunhoe: Yeah,

dadjoong: without telling us????

yunhoe: U guys werent supposed to know sorry

dadhwa: THATS MY BOAT YUNHO

yunhoe: IM SORRY

mingi_thee_stallion: WHY ARE WE SCREAMING

oohyoung: you were screaming first mingi

mingi_thee_stallion: YEAH ITS FUN

dadjoong: so...why does the baby have the boat

yunhoe: Uhhh you know my friend Jung Hoseok?

oohyoung: DANCE LEGEND?

sanic: MR SEXY?

oohyoung: girl what

sanic: i didnt say that

oohyoung: you clearly did

dadhwa: we’re getting off topic where is Baby™, Yunho

yunhoe: Destiny Island??????? Maybe

yunhoe: Their friend Taehyung was missing so

dadjoong: ain’t that the one yeosang thinks is hot

dadhwa: yeah

yunhoe: Yeah

oohyoung: yeah

mingi_thee_stallion: WHAT IS DESTINY ISLAND

sanic: bro can u be me when i stop screaming <3 thanks

mingi_thee_stallion: SORRY LOL

dadhwa: how long has he had the boat

yunhoe: Since yesterday

oohyoung: YESTERDAY?

sanic: BRO

dadjoong: ok well this is CLEARLY a problem

dadhwa: rescue mission time?

dadjoong: you know it babey!

mingi_thee_stallion: YAYYY I LOVE RESCUE MISSIONS

sanic: does this mean we can use S.S. San?

dadjoong: sigh

dadjoong: yes san

dadjoong: we can use the ss san

sanic: YEAHHHHH

* * *

vantae: So

vantae: How’s everybody’s day going

babie: u mean aside from being kidnapped

vantae: Yeah

babie: im so tired.

babie: all i wanted to do was drive a boat

babie: and sing sea shanties

babie: and ignore the crippling student debt raining down on me

babie: that the bleak future holds

babie: and i get kidnapped

babie: i cant even sing

babie: this room has a terrible echo

babie: and two dead guys show up

babie: and one of them is jungkook

babie: whom i am infatuated with

babie: and i look like crap

babie: so its fucking going

vantae: That’s rough buddy

* * *

park_jmn: LOVE YOU

park_jmn: WHAT

crabjoon: i love you too jimin.

park_jmn: NOT YOU

crabjoon: :(

park_jmn: OK WAIT YES I LOVE U

park_jmn: WHERE THE FUCK DID TAEHYUNG GO

hobi: wheres yoongi???

suga: i’m alive

hobi: OH THANK FUCK

Admin: Hello, winners.

park_jmn: CAN THIS BITCH D WORD ALREADY

Admin: That’s not very nice, Park Jimin.

park_jmn: OK YES IM SORRY PLS DONT HURT ME THNX <3

Admin: As you are aware, you have won The Game.

Admin: As such, you are to wait in this chat for the second wave.

crabjoon: the what

Admin: The second wave of contestants.

suga: there’s more people ?

hobi: second wave??? like are we getting taehyung and seokjin and jungkook and jongho back?

Admin: All of your questions will be answered soon.

Admin: If the contestants survive.

crabjoon: i don’t like this chief

* * *

dadhwa: yall ever feel like ur forgetting someone

sanic: no

oohyoung: quick question

oohyoung: who left mingi in charge of driving the boat

dadhwa: ? nobody

oohyoung: hmm

oohyoung: so why is he DRIVING IT

yunhoe: Considering our normal boat driver is MIA

yunhoe: We need SOMEONE to drive

dadjoong: and san cant legally operate vehicles in 3 countries

sanic: :(

dadhwa: ...did anyone else feel that bump

oohyoung: he hit someone. didn’t he

dadjoong: i’ll check :’)

dadhwa: anyways i just feel like....we forgot something

sanic: if you forgot it its probably not important

dadhwa: yeah ur probably right

* * *

Admin: You don’t have to like it.

Admin: You just need to do what we say.

park_jmn: i think the FUCK NOT trick ass BITCH!!!!!!!!

park_jmn: FUCK YOU STINKY

park_jmn: I HATE YOU!!!!!

Admin: Are you done?

park_jmn: NO

park_jmn: YOURE SO FUCKIGN UGLY

park_jmn: I COULD CRUSH YOU BENEATH MY PINKY FINGER

park_jmn: BITCH

park_jmn: ok im done now

Admin: Thank you.

* * *

dadjoong: WE FUCKING FORGOT YEOSANG

* * *

babie: who’s the hottie

vantae: Don’t call him that it inflates his ego

seokjingay: too late

vantae: Can you go back to being dead pls

seokjingay: you wish

seokjingay: anyways jongho

seokjingay: you can break apples with your bare hands right? why cant you break through the walls

babie: you

babie: severely overestimate my capabilities

seokjingay: uh huh

seokjingay: now go use your head as a battering ram, apple boy

seokjingay: its already round as it is you cant damage it further

babie: no

seokjingay: fair

vantae: Is jungkook dead

seokjingay: i sure hope the fuck not

seokjingay: i didnt perform cpr on him for five minutes just for him to die

babie: lucky

seokjingay: what

[yeoyeo has been added to the chatroom!]

yeoyeo: anyone here smoke weed

* * *

suga: why are we still in our rooms if we won the game?

hobi: yeah i want to go home!

Admin: All will be answered in due time.

Admin: Would you like to see how the other contestants are doing?

crabjoon: honestly, i’m afraid of how they’re doing.

crabjoon: we barely escaped that with our lives.

park_jmn: are the others still alive even???

Admin: You’ll have to find out.

crabjoon: maybe we’ll get answers if we see this other team.

crabjoon: alright, let’s see the other team.

* * *

Admin: Our first team is Kim Hongjoong and Park Seonghwa.

dadjoong: i’ll go first i guess

dadhwa: uve got this joong!

dadhwa: and if u dont, well

dadhwa: :)

[dadjoong has been removed from the chatroom!]

oohyoung: guys i cant feel my legs

sanic: maybe you shouldnt have called the admin a cunt

oohyoung: I DIDNT EXPECT THERE TO BE LEECHES OK??

yunhoe: I’m worried for my team

mingi_thee_stallion: WHY

yunhoe: You

mingi_thee_stallion: FAIR

oohyoung: so am i yunho

sanic: this feels like a microaggression idk why

oohyoung: because it is one

sanic: against me?

oohyoung: yeah

sanic: thats homophobic

oohyoung: im gay

sanic: cant believe you’re gay and homophobic

yunhoe: *Takes deep breath*

yunhoe: Children,

[dadjoong has been added to the chatroom!]

dadjoong: wow that was super easy!!!!

dadhwa: what did they ask?

dadjoong: minions lore

sanic: thats cheating

sanic: he cant do that

dadhwa: thats illegal

Admin: Up next is Jung Wooyoung and Choi San.

oohyoung: im going because i dont trust you

sanic: thats fair

[oohyoung has been removed from the chatroom!]

yunhoe: So like did they show minion memes or what

dadjoong: they mostly asked questions from despicable me?

dadjoong: they did try to trip me up with the minions origin story though

dadjoong: since it got retconned

dadjoong: originally they were created by gru to aid him in his evil schemes

dadjoong: but the minions movie changed it so that theyre ancient beings

dadjoong: i used the minion movie lore since it was the most recent and luckily i passed

dadjoong: everything after that was a breeze

yunhoe: I don’t understand a fucking word you’re saying but go king

[oohyoung has been added to the chatroom!]

oohyoung: man that was easy

oohyoung: even san could’ve done it

sanic: i’ll take that as a compliment

oohyoung: don’t <3

mingi_thee_stallion: WHAT WERE THE CATEGORIES

dadhwa: pls stop screaming my delicate ears hurt

mingi_thee_stallion: NO :)

oohyoung: idk something like sports, movies, and then park jimin facts

oohyoung: i chose park jimin facts, obviously

dadhwa: stalking

oohyoung: its not stalking if all of it is public information hyung :)

Admin: Up next is Jeong Yunho and Song Mingi.

mingi_thee_stallion: I WANNA GO

yunhoe: NO

yunhoe: MINGI????

yunhoe: WE AGREED THAT I WAS GONNA GO??

mingi_thee_stallion: DUDE I WANT A TURN

dadjoong: oh no

Admin: Because of Kim Hongjoong and Jung Wooyoung’s easy breeze through the questions, Song Mingi, your consequences will be tripled.

mingi_thee_stallion: HELL YEAH!!!

oohyoung: THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF GOOD??

dadhwa: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YUO

dadhwa: I COULD DIE MINGI

[mingi_thee_stallion has been removed from the chatroom!]

sanic: f in the chat for me, seonghwa hyung and yunho

yunhoe: I hate it here :)

dadjoong: the baby would never do this

dadhwa: i miss The Baby™

yunhoe: I shouldn't have let him go without adult supervision :(

dadjoong: its okay bby

dadjoong: ur our bby too

dadhwa: i miss Yeosang

dadhwa: we’re too pretty to go through this </3

oohyoung: it was nice knowing yall

dadhwa: awe thanks Wooyoung

oohyoung: not u

oohyoung: u can choke

dadhwa: whore

dadhwa: ur just like ur father

dadjoong: i,

[mingi_thee_stallion has been added to the chatroom!]

sanic: oh hes back

mingi_thee_stallion: WOW THAT WAS FUCKING EASY

yunhoe: What did they even ask

mingi_thee_stallion: THEY ASKED ME TO DO THE KOREAN ALPHABET BACKWARDS

dadhwa: can i be honest wit yall

dadhwa: im surprised he even knows the alphabet

oohyoung: rt

mingi_thee_stallion: WHADDA HELL

mingi_thee_stallion: :(((((((((((

dadhwa: noooo i take it back bby u are my smart princess <3

mingi_thee_stallion: :))))))))))

yunhoe: All hail princess mingi!

mingi_thee_stallion: UWU

oohyoung: so pretty!

dadjoong: such cutie!

Admin: Um.

* * *

park_jmn: this is so embarrassing

suga: what the hell is up with these kids

suga: jungkook was hanging from a pole at this point what

crabjoon: maybe we’re just really bad?

hobi: it sounds like theyre missing ppl too tho

hobi: this is jonghos friend group!!! which means theyre missing jongho!! :(

hobi: and yeosang!!!

park_jmn: i hope theyre ok

park_jmn: i feel like this is our fault

park_jmn: we’re the ones who borrowed jongho and their boat....

hobi: i think yunho’s gonna be rly mad at me for that one :(

crabjoon: hopefully they’re alive and well.

crabjoon: all we can do is hope.

* * *

vantae: I spy

vantae: Something blue

babie: jungkook's shoe

jj_k: my shoe

jj_k: dammit

babie: my turn

babie: i

babie: spy

babie: something

babie: oily

jj_k: jin hyung’s face?

babie: yeah

seokjingay: yall can go to hell

jj_k: i spy something

jj_k: broken

yeoyeo: jongho’s leg.

babie: this is too easy

jj_k: i mean its hard to play this when its just five of us in an empty room together

yeoyeo: yup.

yeoyeo: doesn’t help that jongho and i are in the room with the two people we find hottest.

babie: shut

babie: the fuck up

yeoyeo: shoot your shot

babie: i will not

seokjingay: its ok boys i get it a lot

seokjingay: got my own fanclub and everything

yeoyeo: you’re nice and all but no thanks

seokjingay: WHAT

yeoyeo: kim taehyung i have feelings for you

vantae: Haha nice

jj_k: so...that means i’m the other person?

babie: h

babie: @Admin @Admin @Admin can i leave please

Admin: No.

babie: i hate it here

seokjingay: RT

* * *

dadjoong: so one of us is a mole??

dadhwa: nah

dadjoong: thats sus as hell

dadjoong: no offense admin

Admin: None taken.

yunhoe: I don’t think its any of u because I love u

yunhoe: *Kisses u*

mingi_thee_stallion: ILY2 -3-

yunhoe: -3-

dadjoong: -3-

dadhwa: -3-

oohyoung: -3-

sanic: -3- mwah

oohyoung: you just had to be extra didnt you

sanic: i like sound effects~

dadhwa: well as fathers hongjoong and i should have a serious parental discussion

oohyoung: can yall just divorce already im so sick of this dad stuff

dadhwa: no <3

dadjoong: what are your thoughts hwa

dadhwa: no moles joong

dadjoong: yeah

dadhwa: okay admin we vote no moles <3

yunhoe: Yay!

oohyoung: without discussing it?

dadhwa: do u think there are moles jung wooyoung

oohyoung: aside from the ones on ur face?

oohyoung: no

yunhoe: *laughs nervously*

mingi_thee_stallion: NO MOLES BECUZ FRIENDSHIP -3-

dadhwa: final answer no moles

Admin: You are all CORRECT.

Admin: Since you passed, SONG MINGI’S penalty has been revoked.

mingi_thee_stallion: BUT I LIKE GIVING KISSES -3-

yunhoe: Omg same

yunhoe: -3-

dadhwa: -3-

oohyoung: -3-

sanic: -3- mwah

dadjoong: -3-

* * *

crabjoon: this is

crabjoon: humiliating.

suga: stop i’m having flashbacks rn

park_jmn: i can’t believe we’re losing to five year olds

park_jmn: maybe if SOMEONE hadn’t been suspicious

suga: i would normally tell u to let it go but honestly i deserve this

hobi: yeah kinda~

suga: i know hobi~

park_jmn: i can’t believe kook died and left me alone with you two

crabjoon: i’m right here.

park_jmn: omg i know minimonie bffs 4 life

park_jmn: ur just not taehyung tho

crabjoon: that’s fair.

* * *

vantae: So how did they get you

yeoyeo: i was doing tricks on my skateboard

yeoyeo: when all of a sudden

yeoyeo: this guy came up to me and asked if i wanted free chicken

babie: oh my god

yeoyeo: so i said yes

yeoyeo: because im not an idiot

jj_k: fair

yeoyeo: and then he hit me in the head with my own skateboard

vantae: Wow

vantae: They asked me if i wanted to so somwthing cool so i said yes and now i'm here

seokjingay: i'm so mad

jj_k: how do you think the others are doing guys?

yeoyeo: i think my friends are doing okay

yeoyeo: i mean

yeoyeo: none of them have showed up here yet.

seokjingay: man jungkook was hanging from a pole and then had his room fill up w water

seokjingay: and i had to type in news headlines

seokjingay: yoongi had to do uwu speech

jj_k: my arm still hurts from the pole

seokjingay: my room caught on fire

seokjingay: i had a mirror and everything smh

yeoyeo: you’re very pretty jin hyung

seokjingay: OMG THANKS

seokjingay: you too

seokjingay: seonghwa is part of your friend group right?

seokjingay: how do the admins feel knowing they have the three prettiest boys on campus in 1 facility rn

vantae: The ego

seokjingay: shut up

babie: jungkook hyung

jj_k: h

jj_k: don’t call me that

babie: oh ok sorry

jj_k: whats up

babie: um

babie: do you want

babie: to sing

yeoyeo: gay

babie: yeosang i will split you in half

yeoyeo: that’s a credible threat

jj_k: finally

jj_k: a place to release myself

seokjingay: oh no

* * *

sanic: ok so i might be about to drown rn but honestly the water is nice so i don’t mind

oohyoung: at least they got rid of my leeches

oohyoung: but i'm not very good at guessing things

dadhwa: don't worry bby its a team effort we'll figure this out

oohyoung: please never call me bby ever again

dadjoong: so admin, it's yes or no questions, right?

Admin: That is correct.

yunhoe: I want to start with colors

yunhoe: Is it blue?

Admin: No.

yunhoe: MY PHONE SHOCKED ME?

mingi_thee_stallion: REALLY?

mingi_thee_stallion: ME NEXT

mingi_thee_stallion: IS IT RED

dadhwa: we cant just keep asking colors this shit isnt gonna go anywhere

Admin: Yes.

mingi_thee_stallion: WOW THAT HURT

mingi_thee_stallion: OK I HAVE A GUESS

dadjoong: NO

sanic: MINGI PLEASE ITS MY LIFE ON THE LINE NOT URS

mingi_thee_stallion: THAT SOUNDS LIKE A YOU PROBLEM

mingi_thee_stallion: IS IT AN APPLE

oohyoung: WHAT THE HELL

Admin:...You are correct?

mingi_thee_stallion: WE WON :D

dadjoong:...we won?

oohyoung: how

mingi_thee_stallion: A LIL HELP FROM PEMDAS....

mingi_thee_stallion: PLEASE EXCUSE MY DOPE ASS SWAG

sanic: i wish yeosang was here to put you in his cringe compilation

dadhwa: ADMIN DO WE GET A PRIZE?

Admin: First, Kim Hongjoong must end the game.

[dadjoong has sent *screenshot_png*]

dadjoong: finish or start over, guys?

sanic: wait i wanna play again

oohyoung: i had fucking leeches in my pants san

sanic: more reason to play again

yunhoe: This was fun tho <3

yunhoe: I feel like we haven’t gotten to hang out in so long

yunhoe: Even if we’re all in separate rooms it's like we’re bonding

dadhwa: honestly i agree

dadhwa: i love you guys

dadhwa: this was fun

dadjoong: so....wanna play again?

mingi_thee_stallion: I DO

dadhwa: hmm...i wanna see The Baby™ soon though

oohyoung: can’t believe i’m saying this but i agree with seonghwa hyung

oohyoung: i wanna finish

sanic: u just don’t want leeches

oohyoung: yeah and?

sanic: my room is still filling up w water btw

dadjoong: oh jeez well i’ll finish it then

yunhoe: Rip game

mingi_thee_stallion: NOOOOO I WAS HAVIGN SO MUCH FUN

mingi_thee_stallion: im sad now

dadhwa: does that mean ur gonna stop typing in all caps

mingi_thee_stallion: i GUESS

Admin: Kim Hongjoong has selected to finish The Game.

Admin: The Game will end in thirty seconds.

* * *

suga: i think we should all just die

park_jmn: yeah

hobi: this was humiliating

crabjoon: they did all of that...in five minutes....

suga: they didn’t lose a single person too

hobi: are we old, yoongi hyung

suga: the years start coming and they don’t stop coming

park_jmn: i hate this

crabjoon: this hurt almost as much as actually playing.

Admin: Now that the second wave of contestants have finished, it’s time to introduce the winner chat.

* * *

[WINNER CHAT]

crabjoon: hi.

dadjoong: omg hi

park_jmn: hey kids

park_jmn: you uh

park_jmn: did pretty good out there....

oohyoung: PARK JIMIN?

dadhwa: oh no

park_jmn: hi :)

oohyoung: H

park_jmn: i’m famous

dadjoong: hey admin where’s the baby and yeosang tho

Admin: Since they did not participate in the game and are not technically losers, you can have them back.

[babie and yeoyeo have been added to the chat!]

yeoyeo: nooooo

yeoyeo: i was shooting my shot with kim taehyung wtf

park_jmn: EXCUSE ME!?

babie: this is a nightmare

dadhwa: ITS BABY

babie: its dad

dadjoong: BABY

babie: other dad

dadhwa: I MISSED YOU BABY

dadjoong: WE ALL DID :(((

dadhwa: YOU ARENT HURT ARE U

babie: no

babie: but i wish i was

babie: my soul hurts

mingi_thee_stallion: so does mine

mingi_thee_stallion: i wanted to keep playing

dadjoong: i'm sowwy mingi

park_jmn: wait

park_jmn: if they didn't play but still aren't losers

park_jmn: then i can get taehyung back, right????

Admin: That is correct.

park_jmn: SO GIVE HIM TO ME?

oohyoung: i'm sorry i can never be him jimin hyung

sanic: f

dadjoong: f

babie: f

mingi_thee_stallion: f

yeoyeo: f

dadhwa: f

yunhoe: f

crabjoon: what does f mean

sanic: lol boomer

crabjoon: this hurts

suga: you kids did well

suga: now admin

suga: what the fuck are we doing here

[vantae has been added to the chat!]

yeoyeo: i am once again shooting my shot with kim taehyung

park_jmn: don’t

yeoyeo: i will no longer shoot my shot with kim taehyung

vantae: Oh hey yeosang! Hey jimin! Hey jongho!

suga: i guess the rest of us are dirt on the floor huh

vantae: I was typing your names :(

hobi: where’s kookie and jin hyung?

Admin: Since they lost, they don’t get a prize.

hobi:...huh???

dadjoong: what prize?

Admin: This is the hit variety show Running Man, after all.

suga: i

park_jmn: WHAT!??!

mingi_thee_stallion: RUNNING MAN?

yunhoe: VARIETY TV?

crabjoon: wait. hang on.

crabjoon: this was all...for a variety show?

sanic: I’M ON TV? :D

dadhwa: omg yesss yeosang and i deserve this <3

yeoyeo: pretty people time <3

dadhwa: <3

babie: well this is only

babie: slightly better

babie: than being kidnapped by psychopaths

suga: but...the water? the pole? the fire? hello?

Admin: You weren’t in any real danger.

Admin: But a little bit of spice does bring up ratings.

vantae: Oh that explains why there’s cameras everywhere

park_jmn: THERE WERE CAMERAS???

hobi: oh

hobi: im gonna cry

oohyoung: well this is embarrassing

oohyoung: okay but what the fuck were the leeches then

Admin: Worm on string, doused in silly putty.

oohyoung: huh

mingi_thee_stallion: can i keep them

Admin:...I guess?

* * *

seokjingay: so

jj_k: so

seokjingay: what do we do now

seokjingay: the others got yoinked out

seokjingay: but we’re still here

jj_k: i think we’re on a variety show

jj_k: there’s cameras in the corner

seokjingay: come to think of it there were cameras in my room too

jj_k: i wonder for what show, though

seokjingay: ten bucks says running man

jj_k: ten bucks says its american

seokjingay: ur on, maknae

* * *

[seokjingay and jj_k have been added to the chatroom!]

Admin: Hello, Kim Seokjin and Jeon Jungkook.

Admin: You are on a variety show.

seokjingay: RUNNING MAN?!

Admin: Yes.

jj_k: FUCK

seokjingay: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

yunhoe: What’s going on

dadhwa: omg hi seokjin

seokjingay: omg hi seonghwa

yeoyeo: yeosang

dadhwa: yeosang!

dadhwa: <3

seokjingay: <3

yeoyeo: <3

crabjoon: well while the vain people talk, um...what the fuck?

suga: i am fucking sueing you for everything you’ve got

Admin: Did you guys forget you signed up for this?

park_jmn:...we did?

oohyoung: i don’t remember this?

Admin: You guys signed up for this several months ago.

Admin: It was part of a raffle for free fried chicken.

dadjoong: that sounds like something we’d do tbh

crabjoon: yeah, same.

yeoyeo: that

yeoyeo: was probably my fault sorry guys

seokjingay: never apologize for anything king <3

crabjoon: i’m sure fake life-or-death situations weren’t in the description though.

Admin: Always read the fine print, kids.

dadhwa: okay so whats the prize then

Admin: Free chicken.

mingi_thee_stallion: FUKC YEAH

hobi: YAY!!!!

jj_k: all except for hyung and i...

seokjingay: oh no maknae

seokjingay: you’re paying for my dinner :)

jj_k: fuck

babie: um....can i join

jj_k: can you break chicken bones with your bare hands?

babie: m

babie: maybe?

jj_k: then sure

babie: thank you hyung

jj_k: don’t call me that

yeoyeo: ((he’s shooting his shot))

dadhwa: ((omg im so proud of him))

dadjoong: ((proud dads))

dadhwa: ((love u joong))

dadjoong: ((love u hwa))

suga: ((gag))

jj_k: i respect the way you carry on high notes

babie: omg

babie: i mean

babie: haha

babie: me too

babie: i mean i admire your high notes

babie: a lot

babie: haha

yunhoe: They grow up so fast

seokjingay: i know :,)

babie: i want to die

jj_k: welcome to my life

hobi: omg babies <3

park_jmn: so like we’re just ignoring all of the trauma we went through ok

vantae: Jiminie

park_jmn: yeah?????

vantae: Wub you :)

park_jmn: ....

park_jmn: wub u too <3

oohyoung: feel like pure shite just want that to be me

sanic: its okay wooyoung you can be the btec jimin to my btec taehyung

suga: what do these words even mean

sanic: its how we say i love you

oohyoung: bold of you to assume i have any positive feelings towards you

yeoyeo: anyone here smoke weed

seokjingay: thought you'd never ask, pretty boy


End file.
